Across the Inter-Dimensional World Revamped
by PaintDemColors
Summary: Gwen's computer glitches! What happens? Disorientation of time and space. And with Kirby around, there's no telling who's going to get roasted first. Package includes the ironically hilarious 4kids dub of Right Back At Ya.
1. Kirby Comes to Crappy Town

**Hey, so as you've noticed, this story's getting a huge revamp! Ugh I haven't touched this in so long, hilariously enough.**

 **Kirby+related belongs to Nintendo/HAL Labs**

 **Now let's go**

1\. Kirby comes to Crappy Town

My name is Gwen. My age? 15. I know, kind of old. Very funny. Anyways, I came here to talk about a certain show that aired on 4kids about a decade back. You guessed it-the one and only Kirby Right Back At Ya. I'm going to be entirely honest with you and say it straight-up, the show was hilariously and ironically terrible. I think the only reason I ever watched it was because the YouTube poops were so bad they became quality shitposts. I'm no good at sinning things like these purposefully, but if you want to get the idea, it's one of those shows where the humor comes from dad jokes and a good half of the dialogue is describing things already shown through the pictures. Of course, I never missed an opportunity to point these things out. Hmm? What do I mean? Oh, right. The story.

It was no particular Saturday in the middle of summer. Living in the desert areas of the States is the worst decision you can ever make in the summer. Heat waves, earthquakes, and the like always hit you. I can relate the weather to almost Las-Vegas degrees, but I'm sure almost none of you have been there, so I'll explain it as it occasionally gets to boiling point on the Fahrenheit scale. Anything over 100 is pretty normal, in some cases.

On this Saturday I had woken up really late. My analog clock, when I rolled over to look at it, read 3:40 p.m. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and then stared at the time for some minutes before slumping back onto my bed. I didn't want to wake up, and it was a weekend. Nobody would care.

Right when I was about to fall asleep, I noticed I had still left my laptop on. Throwing off my non-existent bed covers, I stumbled over to the computer without tripping, amazingly enough.

The tab I had left open was YouTube, and the paused Mid-Kirby 100th episode video stared right back into my soul. Nodding, I walked down the hallway in some sort of a trance to get myself some cookies. I didn't trip on that small journey too, so that was plus points for me.

Upon getting back to the messy haven I called my room I noticed that the YouTube tab had been replaced by my email inbox. Confused, I shook it off as me simply closing the tab before I left and just stood around, munching on the cookies I'd brought back with me.

An almost google-translated generated voice shocked me out of my silent state. "dO yOU WaNt TO wAtcH?" it said. Of course, as soon as I heard that, I was sprinting towards my door.

On the way there, I tripped over the computer cables, sending me sprawling to the floor after an audible snap and crackle of electricity. Go me.

I did manage to spring right back up and bound for the doorway at a speed that could have rivaled my track friends', although as soon as I touched the doorknob it sent a ray of electricity up my arm, giving my hand a good shock.

Yelling and stumbling back while holding my arm, I noticed that the computer was sending out scary purple lighting bolt zaps. "What the hell?" I asked myself, because what looked like the electric lines inside of those magic balls were slowly spreading around the room. As I watched, a vortex grew, and before I knew it gravity was gone. Yelling all the while and clutching my bedframe, it wasn't long before one of the electric rays got the _same arm_ and sent me flying into the depths of what did not exist.

That brings me to where I am today. After that huge ordeal, in which I acted like a dumb jerk and didn't do anything, I wake up again in some nice meadow, with rolling hills, birds chirping, and the sun streaming down my face. I'm thinking right about now that it was all a dream and I just took a fancy to sleeping in the middle of my yard. Maybe somebody knocked me off the patio chair. But then I think, that's crazy. Why would I do that?

Looking around tells me that I'm sitting on the ground right next to a sheep pen. I breathe in the countryside air and then get up as fast as lighting, because no thank you to sitting in sheep shit. I feel slightly horrified that the ground I lay on was most likely littered with feces.

Standing up like this shows me a small village to my right, with a nice cobblestone road and bright, colorful houses. Curiosity overtaking me, I wander over. Until somebody-no, some _thing_ steps into my line of sight. Horrified, I stop in my tracks. It looks like the main character creepy face glitch from Animal Crossing. It also looks like a mushroom without a mushroom cap. What did I step into, Rise of the Living Mushroom Bottoms? Evidently. Am I on a different planet? Obviously. Am I a mushroom person? Because it would certainly suck if I was-

Nope. No glob body. Good. However...

I did run to a nearby house window to check. First check proved this house I was peering into seemed to be empty. Good. Stepping back, I viewed my reflection. I was wearing what I wore this morning-jeans, sneakers, a purple collar top-i.e. what I wore to sleep after forgetting to change. The only addition was some cool-looking top hat that wouldn't seem to fall off my head no matter how much I shook it. Although my face looked more anime than it should have looked, I was fine. Except for my arms, because I glanced down and noticed my right had some terrible looking burns. I grimaced, and touched it. No pain. Smooth. Normal-like. I could move it, too. So why...?

Maybe the electric shocks from earlier were the cause. As the idea jumped into my brain, I realized where I might actually be.

"No no no no no no no no way..!" I muttered, and was seriously contemplating either running around and screaming crazily or go around exploring and practice target shooting when a bright light flew from the sky, right at my face. Run around and scream crazily it is. I wanted to stick around for more than ten seconds to figure out where I was, although, later on it proved to be the worst decision of my life.

The UFO crashed in from the heavens above, tearing through the forest and all the way up a random hill that was randomly very steep. It was shaped like a yellow star, but very mechanical. Expected as much from a UFO.

Out of nowhere this random group comes rushing over to investigate the ship, and I'm roughly shoved out of the way. My wondrous thinking settles on the fact that as of now, nobody's noticed me yet.

I'm right about to shout myself sillly when I notice the group isn't all mushroom bottom people in and out. There's a fancy couple, two kids, two flying pink and blue gumballs, and - yeck - a huge purple snail, who looks like he'd been on steroids, with a..mustache and goatee...? Next to him is what looks like an emperor penguin in a Santa Claus robe with a beanie. I then think I am definitely hallucinating and should try to pinch myself to wake up when the hatch of the yellow star UFO opens up. After pushing a couple mushroom people out of the way, I get into view of the others and the ship.

No surprise, it's none other than-

"Looks like an alien invader." the penguin says.

At first I think he's talking to ME, when I remember the pink thing just fells out of the yellow star.

"Mash it with your mallet!" the enormous snail says, and then out of nowhere the penguin takes out a giant hammer, and actually is about to smash the thing. Until one of the kids interrupts with a "Wait a second, let's see who it is!" And proceeds to ask the pink thing if he indeed is a space alien.

What could not have been more obvious looks up and tries to make noises. I distinctly hear the word pollo. Like, spanish chicken pollo? Uhh... is he hungry? Apparently.

"It might be impossible, but your name wouldn't happen to be Kirby?" she continues to ask.

Kirby jumps up and prances around. "POYO! POYO! KIRBY! KIRBY!"

Pollo? I'm thinking, anyone got chicken? Also I never knew Kirby spoke Spanish. Well, I had yet to see him speak anything other than 'chicken'. Maybe it was a pun. Or an observation statement.

Everyone else, however, is in shock. They all look like they're going to have a seizure. "Kirby? That's Kirby?" The other kid, a boy this time, asks. "The Star Warrior?" The man of the elderly couple asks. His wife continues with "But he's so...pink!"

"Wait what's wrong with pink? Kirby can kick everyone's arse here if he wanted to! Right?" I wonder out loud. Although nobody paid me any heed, I did wonder if Kirby was going to save this planet from yet another evil villain. The end of the world is heeeeere

I'm half-right, because the penguin immediately plants his foot on to of Kirby. "Hahaha! A Star Warrior, huh? Well, stand back because this guy's going into orbit!" And he whacks the pink blob into oblivion. "POYOOOOoooooo"

"Noooo!" The girl cries. I stand up and finally draw attention to myself. "What did you do that for!?" I accuse him. I'm not the only one either, everybody leans towards the cliff and somebody asks "Why did you have to clobber that Kirby?" "That was unnecessary." Someone else comments.

"Do what?" The penguin asks innocently.

"...have to mention that HORRIBLE pun! Really, be sensible! Puns are the worst!" I yell, wringing my arms. Puns. Can't stand 'em.

"It's another space alien!" The snail shouts, like he just noticed me now.

"Before we talk about ME here, why don't you look yourself in the mirror and find out who the space alien is? I'm not the one taking steroids!" I retort.

"Now look here girlie. I is the king around here and you do what you're told!" the penguin shouts. The girl, the boy, and the gumballs disappear into the canyon, presumably to find Kirby.

"Wait. Hold up, you're the king? Are you serious? But you're a penguin, and not a mushroom bottom! Are you even breathing? 'Cause I don't see any ice around!" I wonder, on the verge of laughing.

"Do not disobey His Majesty King Dedede!" the snail steps in front of the king.

Hm?

"Well let's jus start over here, whatcha say? How're ye doing, big D, ma man!" I imitate his southern accent.

"Don't you dare insult the king like that-" the snail speaks up again.

"Hahahaha-oh sHI-" I begin to laugh, and then yell, as I take one step back and fall over the canyon cliff edge. Everybody leans over to look at me, but I disappear from their view, and before long, they all scratch their heads and leave.

I don't even bother looking for the kids who left a while ago. I was on a roll, and then I lose it! Instead I climb back up the gorge and walk a ways into the countryside, climbing a tree and resting. The mushroom bottom people stared at me curiously for about a few seconds as I walked through the town before hustling back to their work, most likely because I wasn't causing any real damage. I was wondering about what I would do, because they seemed to be talking about rumors of a giant octopus flying in and eating everything in the farms. Now that statement in of itself was questionable, but at the same time, 4 feet tall snails are questionable as well.

I sighed. Tried to explore, but the mushroom bottom people breathed down my neck wherever I went, so it soon went out of the question. Tried heading to the huge castle in the distance, but with these small dolls I was told were Waddle Dees holding very real-looking spears, I nope'd out of there. Tried to find the kids, but they'd been gone since I came. I also tried to take off my hat manually. No such luck. It was as if it had been glued to my head.

"You see Kirby? This is Cappy Town. The people are called Cappies." someone said nearby.

I turned around. There were the kids and Kirby I've been so wanting to talk to. They were on a top of a hill overlooking the town, and let me tell you, it was a pretty decent sight. I hopped off the tree to get to them.

Kirby stared at the town for 3 seconds, and turned around and bumped into the Japanese-hair girl, falling onto his head.

"Dedede is the king, and we live in the castle. Just in case you were wondering, my name's Tiff." the Japanese-hair girl says, flipping her hair.

"Pfht." I flip my own hair in the most dramatical way possible as the girl notices me. "See? That's what you look like doing it. Except...on second thought, I look much better in comparison."

She gets this priceless look on her face and crosses her arms. "Aren't you that weird girl from earlier?"

"Mhmm. But define weird. Who knows, I may be the normal one, in actuality."

"You totally dissed off the king! Nice going." the boy says. I flash a smile back. This kid's pretty funny.

Tiff and I are about to start an argument when Kirby says, "Name, Tiff." Said girl went, *LE GASP* and the rest of us turned to look.

I jump. "You gave me a heart attack! I thought this place would've made you Spanish! How my language class continues to haunt me!"

Everyone ignores my comment and the blue-haired boy leaves me and walks over to Kirby. "I'm her brother, Tuff." Kirby parrots this back too.

I snort. That must suck, these kids' parents are terrible at names.

"What's your name?" Tiff turns to me. 'We haven't had a proper introduction." I can tell she's trying to stop her eyebrow from twitching uncontrollably.

I eye her back, expecting we won't ever get a proper introduction, and say, "I'm Gwen."

"Name: Gwen." Kirby says, happy to have something to parrot again.

"HAEY OUTTA MY WAY! I'll get that monster!" a loud, Southern accent comes from nowhere.

"What the?" everyone says as Dedede the penguin who lives in a warm climate area magically rushes at us full speed in his, erm, army tank/car/truck...?

Tiff and the rest of them jump out of the way, and I barely make it as his car crashes into Kirby and sends him flying into the watermelon field below. Poor guy, even I've lasted more in this town without getting pummeled to death.

I run down and scoop up Kirby, even though there's no way I can outrun a car, but surprisingly, I do. At first instead of running, I try to re-climb the hill where we were standing, but it's too steep. Something tells me I should get moving fast or I'll probably kill myself, and I'm completely right. I hear a cannon shot, and realize Dedede's trying to shoot us.

"OH FRICK I"M GONNA DIE!" I scream, running into the water melon field holding Kirby, while bullet shots fired all around us. Dedede hadn't had so much of an aim, so I consider myself lucky.

"Knock it off! Kirby's not a monster!" Tiff and the others yell, following on an upper ledge where they could see everything. Easy for them to say, they're not the ones getting fired at.

I keep on running for my life through the watermelon field, when suddenly a big root comes out of nowhere and I try to jump over it all cool-like so I can keep on running. Epic fail.

Instead I half-trip over it, and fall over. "Ack!"

I also realize that the only reason why I'm getting shot at is because I'm holding Kirby. As soon as I fall, I toss him to the side and scramble to get up. Every man for himself, sorry bud.

Even though I can't get up fast enough Tiff and her brother save our necks by vaulting watermelon halves at Dedede's and the snail's faces. I look up and laugh. I so wished I'd thought of that.

Their car slowed to a halt, and Tiff yelled, "We're not going to let you hurt our friends, Dedede and Escargoon!"

"Don't tell me what to do I'm the king!" Dedede yells back, watermelon half over his head. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, the snail's name is Escargoon... how fitting.

"You consider me a friend? How thoughtful of you!" I say, behind Tiff.

She glares at me, and then her smile turns sly. "I meant Kirby. And the watermelons! They're our friends, too, you know. Or were you dumb enough not to figure that out?"

"Well," I say, "what do the watermelons feel, when you eat them, and toss them at deserving victims?"

"True sense of justice." she says quickly.

"Well I'd hate to be your friend after that horrifying description. Never mind." I shrug.

"Suit yourself." Tiff huffs, and turns back to Dedede and his snail, clearly frustrated.

Some useless convo and empty watermelon shells later, they drive away, squishing countless poor watermelons throughout the field.

"You kids alright?" a mushroom bottom dressed as a police officer shouts out to us, passing by the scene.

"Yeah, but where's Kirby? Gwen?" Tiff asked, turning around for the second time.

"What?" I stared at them, then realized what I did a few seconds ago. "Oh! I don't know. Why don't you go find him?"

"Don't tell me you threw him out just to save your own ass." Tiff deadpanned.

I acted like I didn't know what she was talking about.

Tiff and the others wandered off a ways, and I arrived just in time to see Kirby eat a watermelon whole.

"Teach me how to do that." I say, grinning.

"Anyways, we're going to host a banquet, right Chief? A celebration for Kirby's arrival!" Tiff says, turning to the police mushroom bottom.

"You sure are right." he replies.

"Alright! Wanna come?" Tuff says, mid-cheer. I take it he's talking to me and I think out loud

"Will the food be good?"

"Duuh!"

"Sure, why not."

Later that day, I sit at a dinner gathering next to Tiff and Tuff, with a couple mushroom bottoms. I avoided eye contact because it felt really weird, but instead stared at the feast laid out for all of us. Tuff was right, the food did look good.

The mayor mushroom bottom declared a very lengthy speech, in which everyone was literally dozing through half of it, on Kirby's behalf, something about a great hero arriving and blah blah blah. (I don't remember because I too slept through like half of it.)

When he finished, Tiff stood up. "I don't think Kirby understands what you're saying."

"Say these things sooner, dude!" I yawned. "Now let's ea-"

Kirby stared at us, no sooner did I start talking did he inhale everything on the table. Even the mats. I'm not kidding. The only thing left was us and a... table.

"He-he ate EVERYTHING..." I said, face planting onto the table.

"There goes my dinner." Tuff sighed.

Kirby smiled like he didn't JUST eat a whole feast and skipped out of the room without saying anything

"Kirby! Come back!" Tiff called, and she, Tuff, Fololo and Falala followed Kirby out the door.

Which left me, and a bunch of mushroom bottoms staring at me like trying to figure out what I was gonna do next.

So I got up and rushed after them. "Hey! Wait for me!"

We stopped at the sheep pen I'd woken up next to earlier, which looked normal at first. I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. I never noticed this before, but there were BONES scattered around the field. 'Oh shit!' I thought. 'Did I just miss out on a massacre or a nuclear explosion? Darn!'

"Did you do this?" Tiff asked Kirby. "Maybe Kirby is the monster." Falala said.

"You think Kirby did this? He's too small!" I grinned. Then I remembered the dinner. I sighed. That's one hour of my life I'll never get back...

"We can't stay here." Tiff said, and we all ran into a nearby shack. She shut the door and turned to us.

"And you decide to go into a random shack to hide away? What about somewhere more comfortable? Or less suspicious? Like the castle?" I inputted.

"If all you wanted to do was to make real witty comments, why did you come along anyway?" Tiff asked, wringing her arms.

"Because I didn't want to be left alone with a room full of... mushroom... bottom...looking...people...and it's not like you have anyone who can do a reality check, so voila, here I am"

"You're the one who ate all the sheep didn't you?" Tuff went back to accusing Kirby.

"Huh?' Kirby looked at him like he had zero idea what he was talking about.

"If you tell us the truth, we might be able to help you." Tiff said.

"How do you expect to do that? Either glue his mouth shut or hire a translator. Have fun with that." Just then, voices neared the shack, so I leaned towards the door. "Shut your traps, guys, someone's coming!"

"Like we all didn't hear that-" Tiff huffed, and I shushed her dramatically.

"Hey! Let's check out this shack!" a voice said. "ajufrgaikufag" someone replied. Wait, what the heck? What was that?

Tiff shoved a carrot sack or something to pathetically hide Kirby from whoever was outside. Just in time too, I jumped back as the door was roughly shoved down by two knights in clad armor. Meanwhile, I was really mad that they'd just tried to squish me by flattening the door, so I thought, "Why ruin the door? It's a door for a reason! Can't you just use it? Can't you just turn the pretty knob and politely let yourselves in? The door had a life, you know! It had hopes and dreams! Why-"

"It's Tiff!" the one with the high raspy voice said. "SorighTuff." the other said. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Maybe we did need to hire a translator.

"Oh, hi, Sword, Blade." Tiff stuttered in a nervous voice. I sighed. The fools were visibly shaking. You need to do better than that. Also, the names. Because it certainly was difficult trying to find a good one.

"Don't look at us! We aren't hiding anything behind this sack!" Tuff yelled. I facepalmed. We were screwed.

If it was anything convincing, the knights weren't buying it. Duh. "We're looking for a Kirby." I think Sword said...? (Wild guess, I can't really tell.)

"King's orders." Blade said. (Well, if Sword spoke first, then the other one should have taken a turn next... right? Right?)

"Sorry. There's no Kirby here. We're totally just not hiding out in an inconspicuous shack in the middle of the not-bone-littered farm because she totally isn't hiding Kirby behind a sack or anything, ridiculous, right? It's almost as ridiculous as his voice-or, yours. Maybe. Can't tell who's who. No-don't try to say anything, I wouldn't be able to hear you anyway-"

Tiff and Tuff stared at me with really horrified faces at this point

But before anyone could do anything, even cast a sideways glance, a Spanish-accented voice said, "I am not so sure." A shadowy figure appeared in the doorway, making Tiff gasp. Sword and Blade seemed to kneel in his presence (or something like that, since they didn't have legs they used the fallen door for support).

Well, upon a closer look, he looked exactly like a Kirby. But blue. And more intimidating. That's actually saying something though.

But once he was feet away from us he took out a shiny gold sword and stabbed the sack that Tiff was practically hugging behind her. She jumped out of the way as it went through the sack, and the knight lifted it and Kirby popped out, looking really absentminded even though he was this close to being cut in half. His eyes flashed like something was being reflected off of them, even though he didn't move. (I found this unnerving) Then his eyes changed color from a bright gold to orangey to a bluish green. "So, it is true."

With an adjustment of his cape, he walked out of the room. The rest of us just blinked a few times, and Tiff went out too.

"Awh man, a Spanish swordsman! Haha, I'm right, Kirby totally knows Spanish too, coincidence? Ha! Could this get any better?" I muttered, not realizing that the two knights were standing right behind me-and I decided to follow Tiff outside once I noticed. I didn't want to be left in the dark shack at night, though mainly it was because the two named Sword and Blade were probably silently plotting their revenge on me at this very moment.

I found them staring up at the sky, "Please Meta Knight," Tiff pleaded. "Don't tell the king." Tuff finished.

"The king is not the problem," he said, not looking at us yet, "now we have to find the real monster."

There was a loud noise, like a lightning strike, so I looked at the sky, squinting. Then I realized where everyone was looking and I turned to see smoke coming out of one of the castle windows. My bad.

Kirby ran towards the explosion, seeming to suddenly know what was going on.

"Don't run towards the explosion! Is he dumb? Even I'm not that dumb! Nobody runs towards an explosion!" I commented. Everyone else ignored me and followed Kirby to the castle. He started to fly/float up to the balcony where the smoke was coming from. I had no idea why someone would be playing with explosions at this hour.

Everyone who was outside the shack came a-running into the castle to see Dedede dancing like a deranged robot golfer. He was trying to beat Kirby up again. I leaped onto a slightly higher floor platform.

"AAAND THE CONTESTANTS IN THIS SMASH TOURNAMENT ARE DEDEDE AND KIRBY, LETS SEE WHO'LL WIN, PLACE YOUR BETS FOLKS PLACE YOUR BETS-"

"Kirby!" Tiff yelled, while Dedede kept hitting him over and over again.

The fancy-dressed couple I saw earlier that day ran out randomly from behind a pillar. "Look it's Kirby!" the man said. His wife finished, "He's getting clobbered by the king!"

"Can nobody finish their sentences either? Sin." I shrugged, and hopped off the platform while nobody paid me any attention.

Dedede was running after Kirby but instead rammed into a pillar, which made a little star fly out of his pocket and it rolled toward us. Tiff scooped it off the ground.

"Get away!" someone yelled, and the next instant I was shoved to the floor along with Tiff and Tuff; apparently Meta Knight had pushed us three out of the way of a falling pillar...with his cape still wrapped around himself. Don't ask me how, I still have no idea as I think about it.

"Gee, thanks." I groaned sarcastically, getting up from the floor. "So are you helping us or what?"

"Look!" he shouted instead.

"O...k." I eyed him and turned to where he was pointing. One of the biggest shocks of my life I'll ever get. It was an octopus in a fish tank that within 10 seconds grew to 100 times its size before. It ripped through the roof and stuck its head out of the castle, now as big as the building itself. I just stared at it saying nothing at all. "On second thought...let's get out before we all die!"

"That's the monster that ate all the sheep!" Tuff yelled. "Yes, and it has taken control of the king!" Meta Knight finished.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, WHO CARES, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" I yelled, scrambling for the door.

The octopus burst through the ceiling and wrapped its tentacles around the towers and pillars, blocking our only escape. "Gah! Okay, I'm going to vault out of the window and land in the moat below! Who's with me?!" Tiff and Tuff started running to find their own way out of the castle, but a giant tentacle blocked their way, leaving them with no way to escape. Kirby jumped in front of them though, determined to protect them or something. I sighed. "Nevermind."

The star Tiff was holding from earlier started blinking a dark turquoise blue. It caught Meta Knight's attention and he explained it was the warp star, the source of Kirby's power or something or other. I wasn't really listening because I was paying attention to the little mini-squids. they seemed preoccupied with beating up Kirby. Tiff ran after him, all the while Kirby was trying to escape his attackers.

The octopus was doing very serious damage throughout the castle, knocking in walls, crushing towers, and with a bit of luck we'd end up being pancakes within the next hour.

Tiff and I jumped up into a nearby balcony, and she held the star up and shouted, "Kirby!"

Kirby started a 'poyo' spasm and jumped around. Then he did a repeat of his suck-up power and inhaled everything that wasn't glued to the floor.

"Does he EVER get full?" I asked, righting myself. "He just ate _my dinner_!"

"Inhale is Kirby's classic defense." Meta Knight said, appearing on the balcony next to me.

"When'd you get there!?"

The octopus sent another wave of tiny counterparts at Kirby, who did a spin-kick that sent them rocketing off.

Tiff and Tuff cheered. Meta Knight watched on. And I wish I had ice cream with me. And viewing this from an area that I guaranteed would not be attacked by the giant squid.

Then a final time the mini octopuses squids or whatever attacked, it was different. Kirby ate them, and donned a bright-looking flame hat. I mistook it at first, and thought -

"Whoajfkl!" HIS HEAD IS ON FIRE!"

Meta Knight said it was Kirby's copy ability or something like that, all I cared was how we were going to put him out afterwards.

Kirby launched a giant flamethrower and blasted the octopus to the center of the universe.

I was too relieved it to be over and I ignored everyone cheering and talking behind us. But when I turned to see Meta Knight leaving, I ran up to him. "Hey, I'm not doing this because I care too much of what others think or whatever, nonsense, am I right, but tell those two friends of yours a short apology from me. Only reason why is that they'd probably murder me and then get away with it. Oh, don't say the last part though."

He tilted his head and walked away.

"Well thanks anyway..." I said, and then ran back to the others.

The next morning a group of us watched Kirby leave in his starship. He was about to get onto his ship, but he turned around and looked at Tiff.

"I hate long goodbyes so just go!" she huffed.

"That was very kind of you." I looked at her. "Goodbye Kirby. I'm kind of jealous that you're getting out of this town faster than I am."

"Poyo." Kirby said sadly, then climbed onto his ship.

Ok, that's it, is poyo the ONLY thing he can say!?

Kirby's starship levitated into the air, and drifted away. Tiff and the others (apparently she changed her mind) ran after it, waving goodbye to Kirby.

But out of nowhere Dedede and Escargoon fired a bomb from their jeep and it sent Kirby's ship spiraling down to the ground

"Awww yiss!" I ran down, expecting to see the damage, instead I saw Dedede and Escargoon running in circles. The nutshells.

"So, Kirby, I guess you're stuck here like me!" I said.

"You wanna stay with us?" Tiff asked.

"You're just relieved he isn't leaving you forever." I smirked. I did an impression of a daydreaming person. "Maybe he's cute." I laughed.

"AM NOT!" she yelled, just as Kirby jumped into the air and yelled,

"Kaabii Kaabii!"

 **Not a lot of funny stuff happens this chapter. Oh well. Skip!**


	2. The Sleep Ball of the Center-o-t-Planet

**Hello, fyi this is going to be out of order, I might put it back in order if I end up doing lots of episodes, but you probably don't care, so go ahead and read-**

2\. The Sleeping Pink Ball of the Center-of-the-Planet Forest

"Gwen! Gwen!" someone called to me from under my tree.

"What?" I asked, groggily getting up. "What has Dedede done _this_ time? Don't tell me...has he broken the record for heaviest weight _again_?"

"Gwen! No, I need your help! Kirby has been put under a sleeping spell!" Tiff yelled.

I got down from the tree. Ok, rather, I fell. "Oomf! What? Kirby's under a sleeping spell? Doesn't that mean _normal_ , for our standards?"

"Yeah.. I mean - NO! He sucked up a Noddy from King Dedede's monster enterprises thingy and fell asleep! Now we need to get the Pukkii flower to wake him up!" she took off a knapsack net with Kirby in it, sleeping soundly, holding a Choco bar against his face.

"I don't feel like puking a flower, and I don't want to know what Dedede's noddy is, what a weird thing to ask." I said, leaning against the tree.

"NO! The Pukkii flower, we need to find it! It's a cure for the spell!" Tiff screamed, frustrated, and ran down to a nearby dock where she had docked a minature log canoe.

"I just googled 'Who gives a shit?' and my name wasn't in the search results!" I called to her fleeting back.

"There's nobody else. So shut up and come along" echoed back to me.

I raised an eyebrow, but followed anyway.

"It is pretty cool around here." I said, admiring the view.

"Why don't you try to row the boat this time? I only brought you along to help me, not for you to do nothing." Tiff huffed.

"I'm good. I would probably be having a nice nap instead but thanks to you, I'm here." I replied, leaning against the back of the boat.

"Are you on a voyage to Bababagahara?" Escargoon asked as they suddenly appeared on the road near the river.

"What the heck? Where's that, planet Another Ancient Dimension?"

"It's the place where there are dense jungles. The Pukkii flower is in a cave somewhere there." Tiff explained.

"Where's a TNT when you need one?" I muttered.

"Take care not to be some monster's meal!" Dedede taunted.

"Easy. We're not as close to the ground as you are!" I yelled.

"Thanks, Gwen." Tiff groaned, clearly annoyed by the idiots on the other side of the road.

"Relax. After all, they're too scared to go into the forest by themselves. They can't even survive a night in Whispy Woods!" I told her. "The chickens."

"Riiight." she muttered as Dedede and Escargoon drove away.

"How long is it gonna take to get there?" I complained, leaning over the edge of the boat and tracing a finger across the water. Interesting designs.. Wow, I think I made a ripple...what can I say, I'm not that awake yet.

But before Tiff could answer, Tuff jumped in from out of nowhere on the side of our boat, causing it to rock; Tiff flew into the water and I got tipped in, well, because I was leaning over the side of the boat.

"Tuff! What do you think you're doing?! Come back here with our boat or you're dead to me!" I yelled, as he rowed away with our boat.

"I'm going." he said, not looking back at us.

Then I pretended I was drowning, in hopes of him coming back so I could snatch the boat and dunk HIM into the water. "HEEEEELLP! I'm drowning! Aren't you gonna help me?" But sadly, he ignored me. Jerk.

"Wait! We're coming too!" Tiff yelled, and tried to swim after him. I did too. I can swim.

"Who was the one who said this was my responsibility?" Tuff asked.

"You told him that? Wow, thanks." I said to Tiff, easily catching up to her in the water. And if you're asking, no, I was not happy someone just pushed me into a river and stole my boat.

"We're coming too. This is our responsibility." Fololo and Falala flew in from nowhere.

"This isn't sparta!" I yelled.

"Hold on! Tuff! Fololo! Falala! Wait! *gurgle gurgle*" Tiff struggled to swim against the current.

They rowed out of sight, and then suddenly a rope came down, and Tiff caught hold.

"Grab on." a voice said.

I looked up. "Dun du du du du du." I sang, as I spotted Metaknight up in the tree. "How'd you-" I started, then threw it away.

"So I assume you want to go and ditch them?" I called up, swimming to the bank and ignoring the rope.

"No, not really. I have the exact opposite in my mind, actually." He answered, helping Tiff up onto shore.

"Oh, so you mean...that was a joke, except not funny." Both Tiff and Metaknight gave me a look.

Tiff, Metaknight and I watched Tuff, Fololo and Falala dock the boat and wander off into the woods.

"So... is this following? Or stalking...?" I wondered out loud. Tiff shushed me out.

We went a long ways into the woods, following Tuff's complaints about who should carry Kirby, who's tired, etc. He seemed too overconfident, if you asked me. He wasn't letting anyone help him, even if he was getting tired. And then they started arguing, and Kirby flew off Tuff's backpack into the cavern below. We followed the pink marshmallow down. Kirby was caught in a spider's web, with a slowly accelerating spider right behind. It started to wrap Kirby in a mound of web.

"Kirby!" Tiff cried, but Metaknight stopped her, "Wait!"

"Kaabii! Kaabii! Uhh...! What should I do!?" Tuff panicked. Then, in a pathetic attempt, he picked up a stick and threw it down, thinking it'd drive the spider away. At the same time, Metaknight threw a rock. Tuff missed, but of course blue kirby didn't, and the spider crawled away, damaged on its face.

"I did it! It ran away!" Tuff did a little joy dance. "Hey! Fololo! Falala!" he called, probably to tell them his victory of how he 'drove away' the spider.

"For crying out loud. He doesn't know it was thanks to you." Tiff sighed.

"However, you can appreciate his courage to fight the spider." Metaknight said.

"Well I see him as an obnoxious, prideful, snobbish brat, who thinks he's Indiana Jones, but in the wrong time period." I ticked off the adjectives on my fingers.

"Call it courage, or call it recklessness..." Tiff crossed her arms. "This doesn't bode well." she tapped her foot on the ground.

"Sure doesn't. He's got alot of 'courage' to knock us off our own boat, if I say so myself." I said, looking at Metaknight.

"But I wish you could have seen my amazing feat." Tuff bragged.

"Either he need glasses, or he's got to cut that hair. It's detrimental to his mental!" I moaned.

And then Tuff threw he ball of wrapped up-web and it accidentally hit a random wasp nest that was just sitting there.

"Oh, really? _Really?!_." I glared. "Out of all the things to hit, he hits a wasp nest? He's gonna kill us all, and he doesn't even know we're here."

The wasps chased them around for a moment, untill they Tuff and Kirby fell into a swamp.

After the bees left, Tuff crawled over to pick up Kirby, then, "It's a bottomless swamp!" he cried.

"Swim then, swim then!" I whispered. "Use what you guys call arms and feet!"

Metaknight cut down a tree to help them get out of the swamp.

"Thanks." Tiff stared as he sheathed his sword again.

"I'm tired." Falala said. "Really. We were lucky today." Fololo said.

"Lucky thanks to my skills. At this rate, We'll get the Pyukii flower in no time!" Tuff said. They were sitting against a tree in the broad sunset.

"Are you _serious_!?" I muttered under my breath.

"Not so loud, Gwen." Tiff said once again. "Jeez. After being so scared, he's still overconfident."

"It's because of that confidence that he doesn't give up." Metaknight followed.

"Confidence my ass, sorry dude I'm with Tiff on this one."

"We might have to give up before he does." Tiff said.

"Well if YOU want to give up, go ahead. I'll be right behind you." I said.

"Yeah, I know. I'm gonna have to owe you." Tiff sighed.

"Good. As you know, I am going to sleep now. And maybe tomorrow will be more productive." I climbed up the tree Metaknight was standing in, and lay down on the opposite side.

The next morning, we followed them to the cave where the supposedly Pyukii flower was in.

"That looks like a…cave." I pointed. And for lack of a better word, described it as such.

"No duh," Tiff shushed me out.

"Let's go." Tuff said, and went in.

"Finally. Let's hope nothing happens before they reach the Pyukii flower." Tiff said.

"That's like hoping for Dedede to raise his IQ for once." I said, shaking my head.

"Sir Metaknight?" Tiff asked.

"Ssh!" he shushed her out, and apparently me too, who was about to speak my mind. Well timed.

"Aaaahhh!" Tuff, Fololo and Falala ran out of the cave, screaming. What looked like a ten feet tall cobra from the Arabian desert came out, hissing and snapping at the intruders.

"Spider, death swamp, and now killer cobra?" I yelped, hiding behind the tree. "Can this place get any more sy-fi?"

Tuff tripped over a tree stump, and lay down on the ground, still as a statue.

"Yep, he's a goner. Adventure's over, let's leave-" I watched.

And then Metaknight sent it away with a little trap made out of a log, rope, and a rock. I'll let you to guess.

Anti-climatic much? I thought, watching as the snake fell off the 50 foot cliff. On second thought, in what time did you manage to- you know what, nevermind.

Then Tuff picked up a leaf from the ground and waved it around wildly for about 10 seconds, and stopped once he noticed nothing was there. I snickered.

"It's gone." Tuff said, as he jumped up.

"Did you see just now? The snake was frightened by my courage and ran away." Tuff said as Fololo and Falala reappeared from the woods. "Did you see? The Great Tuff's Amazing Victory!" He said as he held the leaf up high into the air.

".. _.Seriously!?_ " I said as we stared at them.

"This is so irritating! He's so deluded!" Tiff said, wringing her hands.

"Patience, and then we can kick his ass later,"

"I want to give him a piece of my mind!"

"Count me in on that. I'm sure the word you're looking for is annoying, irritating, frustrating, agitating..."

"Um, Gwen? Those all mean the same thing." Tiff said.

"...I...I knew that."

After 'chasing' away the great big snake, Tuff and the others re-entered the cave. The three of us follwed them down one pathway, then another. I longed to speak myself out but voices echoed and if I said something, well, then everyone could hear it.

"Didn't you notice that smell a while ago?" Falala asked.

"Yeah, something smells sweet. Let's go!" Tuff said. Then I instantly thought of candy. Why, I don't know.

We follwed them into a dead end of the cave, where a sliver of light found its way onto a lone plant, that looked something like-

"So this is the Pyukii flower." Tuff said, putting his torch down.

"What!? It's a cactus!" I said, throwing my arms out in exasperation. "We came this whole way for a cactus?"

"This is what will make Kirby wake up?" Fololo asked. "It doesn't seem to be blooming." Falala said.

As if on cue, it bloomed. The cactus leaves split apart, revealing a pinkish-peachish flower glinting in the ray of light.

"Ohhhhh." I said, staring

"Pretty." Tiff said. I looked at her. I was surprised they all didn't get hypnotized

"Let's go!" Tuff said, and they took a step forward.

Well, let me just say, not only the flower bloomed, but things that looked like venus flytraps on a vine stretched out from the sides. I had to keep from screaming. Journey to the Center of the Earth all over again.

"AAHH!" the three said as they were scooped into the air by some vines.

Then one of the flytraps shoved it's face into Tuff's and let out a roar.

"WHAT THE - ?!" I said, stepping back. _"Are you still serious!?"_

It was about to eat him when Metaknight took his sword and slashed all three of the vines that let the captives to freedom.

"Tuff!" Tiff called as she ran up to him.

"Sis? What are you doing here? Metaknight? Gwen?" Tuff asked.

"Oh joy. We've come to save the day, if you don't mind."

"Don't you get it? We were worried so we followed you." she explained.

"...He doesn't get it. After all, he is 'Tuff the Great'." I said, fingering the quote quote sign.

"You...you saw that?" Tuff asked, still trying to process

"Pyukii is a terrible carnivorous plant." Metaknight said. I looked up.

"And you failed to tell this to us earlier because...?"

"Carnivorous?" Tuff said, shivering.

And then Metaknight explained that it lets out Noddy's to put a traveler to sleep, then the venus flytraps eat it's victim. I shuddered. Then just now I just noticed the various bones scattered around the plant's lower level.

"Guys? Isn't there ANOTHER way to wake Kirby up?" I asked. "If there is, let's take that option immediately,"

"So that was the case." Tuff said. "Sorry Gwen, there's no other way to wake up Kirby."

"Ok. This has got to be like the worst way to die." I went back to staring at the plant.

"I thought the worst way to die was being squished under a rock." Tiff asked suddenly.

"...Fine. Second worst way to die."

"But I thought the second worst way to die was being sucked into a living stomach that baked pie-"

"Ugh, _fine_. This is the what time we've faced a monster now!?" I asked, annoyed.

"Um, 52nd."

"Then it's the 52nd worst way to die. Shut up now." Tiff shot me a glare.

"Leave this to me." Metaknight drew Galaxia, and stepped forward.

"Let him, Tuff." Tiff said, taking a page out of my book to not talk to me.

"No way!" Tuff said.

"Kid, you have a death wish. Actually, I don't mind. Go join, go on." I said sarcastically.

"How do you think you got through all the dangerous situations up until now?" Tiff shrugged.

Tuff gasped. "You mean the one who drove away the spider and that big snake, and knocked down the tree in the bottomless swamp... Could it be?" Tuff said.

"Achievement unlocked! You just killed his pride!"

"Yes, that was Metaknight." Tiff said.

And Metaknight jumped up from the ground and started slashing away the Venus Flytrap plants.

One came dangerously close to my face and knocked my hat off. Man I was lucky. Soo lucky right now, I'm surprised I didn't get taken prisoner after .1 seconds. But then again, as I scrambled to pick up my surprisingly-not-glued-to-my-head-in-the-face-of-distress hat, a boomerang fell out of it. Huh.

So I whirled around and threw it. "Look what I've got, hahaha!"

"Get it! Do your best!" Tiff, Fololo and Falala cheered.

"When I die, write on my epitaph 'Mistakes were made', I'm pinning this responsibility on you guys," I yelled as I missed, again. I was trying to aim to snag a flower petal to retrieve; but since I never ever used a boomerang before in my life, I failed. 99% of my throws sucked.

"Tuff? Are you leaving?" Fololo called.

"There's no use for me here, is there?" he said, just as he was about to leave.

"What are you saying?" Falala said.

"The real hero is fighting over there, isn't he?" Tuff said, staring at Metaknight who was moving pretty fast as of now.

"Tuff! What are you sulking for?" Tiff called.

"I'm not sulking!" Tuff yelled.

"Someone's getting jealous." I singsonged as I caught my weapon, now having sliced off about 2 plantheads, luckily. Yayz, I was actually doing something.

"Well, did you come here to be a hero?" Tiff asked. "That's not true, right? it was in order to help Kirby, wasn't it?"

"You know, she's got a point there."

"Picnic...picnic..." Kirby mumbled happily. Even in his sleep, he was a sight to be seen.

Suddenly, "Watch it!" I cried, jumping up to catch my boomerang and almost missing it. "Guys! A little assist here?! What are you waiting for, Christmas? Or us to get wrecked pathetically?" I said, as their attention turned towards the plant. Because Metaknight had somehow been left defenseless, as he was struggling to hold off one of the plants that was about to attack. He was without his sword, also.

"Diiiie alreadyyyy" I shouted, flinging my boomerang one last time, then crossing my fingers in hopes of hitting something.

Tuff gasped, and seemed to be struggling as to what he was going to do. "You're still looking forward to the picnic... this is why I don't like little kids."

"Did you just state that you dislike yourself too?" I asked. "You fall into that category yourself, mate."

"YAAAAHHH!" Tuff screamed as he suddenly rushed forward. He made a dive attempt to grab Galaxia but one of the plants picked it up and nailed it into the ceiling.

"Ooh he missed! Plot twist!"

Tuff dodged most of the oncoming plants, but got trapped in another vine. He inched closer to the flower, and pulled out one of its petals. The whole plant roared. At the same time, my boomerang sliced through the plant that Metaknight was fighting, and he jumped back down to the ground, looking extremely frazzled and exhausted.

"The Pyukii Flower, it's up to you!" Tuff yelled as he was dragged into the air. He dropped the petal into Tiff's hands. Tiff put the petal in front of Kirby, who suddenly woke up and threw up the Noddy right into a plant's mouth. Just in time too, or else Tuff would be a goner.

My boomerang missed, but I was actually aiming for another thing. Galaxia dropped to the ground in front of us, and I caught my own weapon again. And threw it again. We were going to need all the help we could get, even though my hit rate was at about ten percent.

"Kirby, inhale it!" Tiff yelled, and he obliged. he sucked up one of the spikes and unfortunately, my boomerang as well.

"KIRBY!" I yelled, messing my hair up. "My only weapon, gone! I have the best luck ever!"

He copied the needles, and donned a sharp-tipped hat of spikes.

"Yes, that's-" Metaknight started,

"Needle Kirby!" I finished, then said, "Oh crap did I just finish a sentence. This place is getting to mee.."

With a "Poyo!" Kirby threw all the needles on his hat except for the one in front. They cut through all of the Venus Flytrap's (except for the one with a Noddy down it's throat) and Kirby, who acted like a conductor, aimed them perfectly on the leaves.

"You did it!" Tiff and the others yelled.

Kirby went back to normal, spitting out my boomerang. I picked it up. "Fine, you're welcome..."

"AAH!" Tuff screamed as the last plant threatened to make a meal of him too, so I rushed for the still-standing torch to throw it at the plant, but Metaknight beat me to it. The plant was soon engulfed in flames, and it killed the last plant too.

"Why couldn't we just think of that from the beginning?" I sighed.

"Kirby! You're all right! Though you got sleeping sickness because of me, now we're even." Tuff said as he hugged Kirby.

"Wait, HE put Kirby to sleep?" I asked Tiff, who shrugged. "You gotta be kidding me. We had to clean up your mess, kid. You betcha you're gonna stay happy."

"I guess I didn't tell you all the details." she said, then shrugged, smiling. Ergh...

"Don't leave me out of the looop!" I waved my arms around. "Anyways, shouldn't we be going? Because that's about to create the TNT I wished for in the beginning." I pointed at the Pyukii plant. "Pyukii. Puke-ie. Puu-ugh. Nevermind." I said. It's one of those words where saying it repeatedly takes away its meaning, existence, etc. You know the feel.

"It's thanks to Sir Metaknight too." Tiff said.

"Ah-" I started.

"Ok, ok! Gwen too!" Tiff said, sighing

"Mhmm. I feel so loved." I said.

"Don't say that!" Tuff said.

"I would loove to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did." I smiled at him.

"No, you did well. Offering one's life for a companion is the mark of a fine soilder." Metaknight complimented Tuff, totally ignoring my comment.

"Little brothers are always like that. Wanting to be a hero someday." I clasped my hands together in a fake princess look while staring at Tiff. She caught my eye and shot a dull look at me as I did this pose for the second time.

"Eh, That's right!" Tuff put his arms behind his head. "And heeey...nature helped me to the flower. Nature's cool."

"Rriiiiiiiiiiight." I mused.

Then Kirby ate his chocolate.

 **I'm not hilarious, haha. Skip!**


	3. An Overbaked Battle

3\. An Overbaked Battle

I walked out of my room and made sure the corridors were clear whilst making my way down to the basement, all the while checking to see if I had the pliers and wire with me. I had to be there before the broadcast began, and luckily I made it way before it started. You see, I had been holding onto these ever since I'd been sneaking into the castle (with help from Tiff), got lost one time, ended up in the basement, found it, and then figured out Dedede ran a television show in this town. What can I say, you can't always sleep in trees.

King Dedede was ranting at the Waddle Dees and Escargoon as I found the airing station. "Move it! We need to get ready! The broadcast is about to begin!"

I crept silently behind the large microwave sitting in the corner, and located some random wires lying there that were looking awfully big and important. I made a small adjustment, not knowing the heck I'd done, then got out of there real fast, running up to Tiff's room.

I made it just in time for the broadcast on Tiff's TV. I resisted bawling out with laughter in the middle of the room here but I had to see if anything actually happened, or if I was just playing with dead wires.

"Glad you could make it, Gwen." Lady Like greeted me. I grinned.

"Let's get this party starteedd"

"Dreamland's number one network!" Escargoon said as the TV turned on. "Channel DDD! Now the quickie quizine show. Dedede's One Minute Cooking!" he continued. "Greetings, fast food fans. Glad you could join us. We're gonna make King Dedede appetizing coconut cream pie in just sixty seconds. Start the clock!" Escargoon stated the full recipe out loud. The Waddle Dees were the actual ones cooking. "Now simply pop it in the microwave and zap it for 10 seconds!" I sat straight up. This was my moment. The microwave rattled and shook. And hopped. And turned red. And...

What was going on TV looked to slow down as the microwave blasted open and Dedede's face of stupid confusion was covered with coconut cream deliciousness. I almost lost consciousness as I was laughing VERY hard and trying to breathe at the same time. Tiff, Tuff, Fololo, Falala, Sir Ebrom and Lady Like laughed with me. I can't even start to describe how noisy we were.

Then suddenly Dedede walked into our room. "Hey, wat's so funneh?" he asked with that annoying southern accent of his. How I longed to carry a headset and remix all of his sentences.

We immediately grew quiet. Then I snorted; and we all went back to laughing so obnoxiously.

"You're quite the comedian, your majesty." Sir Ebrom said.

"A cream pie in the face! Now that's a classic!" Tiff followed shortly after.

"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!" I shouted, clapping. "I _ever_ wonder where you got the idea!"

Escargoon was replaying the scene over and over and over again on the television, and that just made everyone in town laugh so much we all could hear it.

"You've made my family scream many times in the past your majesty, but now we're screaming with laughter!" Lady Like said.

"It's funnier every time they show it!" Tuff said. We all continued our laugh every chance we got.

"One-shot wonder, you know! Wow, you're popular again!" I shouted, clapping.

I could see the angry scowl on the king's face as he stormed out of our room.

"Wait, look! Something's happening!" Tiff exclaimed. We all swiveled to the TV.

"As you can see from the reconstruction of the accident, the pie was thrown at just the right angle to - unh! - smack his majesty in the face and give him a coconut facial." Escargoon exclaimed.

"Does anyone think that he looks better with the coconut facial? I don't think that's just me!"

Dedede tapped him on the shoulder, and that's when it happened: the two got into a big pie fight, right on the broadcast. We laughed like crazy, and I fell behind the couch.

Later, in the town square, which happened to be circle-shaped, we gathered with the mushroom bottom folks and nobody talked about anything except the morning's broadcast.

"I wonder how that happened." Tiff said, eying me.

"Yeah. Sounds like something Gwen would do." Tuff said. "How come you didn't let us in on your little prank?"

"Poyo." Kirby smiled.

"What? He looked like he needed that." I said, looking smug. "Also, I had no idea what I was doing." They started to laugh, and then I continued, "No really. I could have done anything from blow up the entire castle to just a piss of smoke coming out from that thing." Tiff and Tuff's laughter turned a bit nervous. "Hah."

Just then, Dedede and Escargoon drove in front of us in his new limo. Waddle Dees rushed into the scene, carrying TV lighting and microphones. Behind them was a huge cart covered with a blue blanket. Rich people.

"What's all that equipment?"

"It's a TV crew!" random mushroom-bottom people said.

"Did you finally decide to move your shit show out here and embarrass yourselves live?" I called out. As great as that was, my voice was lost in the crowd chatter.

"Now listen up all you chuckleheads! You all laughed at me. So I put your favorite show off the air. Now I got the last laugh." Dedede yelled to us

Nobody laughed. Nobody cared, really.

"Those who laugh last think the slowest!" I whispered this to Tuff, who was standing next to me. This made him let out a fit of giggles, and then Dedede repeated,

"I just said I get the last laugh! Nobody should be laughin'!"

Escargoon interrupted before Dedede could go any further, "We're replacing it with a brand new show. It's an unreality program called Pie Justice."

"Is it unreality because it doesn't exist and we shouldn't bother to care?" I thought out loud. Tiff heard this, and nodded, at the same time rolling her eyes at me,

"The puns. I know."

"I agree." I replied, and then directed my next statement at Dedede, "Hey-I WOULD verse you in an eating competition. But it looks like you already won. Twice."

"Oh really? And where's my trophy? You gonna give me one, girl?" he shouted back.

"Oooh..." Tiff jeered

"Huh, that's right, I already did. You probably lost it sometime in the last ten seconds though, but don't blame yourself. Let me do it for you!"

"I've had enough of your jokes, girl. Now this here show Pie Justice we'll be tracking down vicious crooks. Then we'll punish them all." Dedede beamed.

Escargoon snickered. "These lawbreakers will have pies thrown at 'em on live TV. It must be our show's lucky day, because I already see one we can catch!"

"Wooooaaahhh!" the cappies exclaimed.

I just stared at them. "Really? Sounds more like a privilege than a punishment!"

"You can't do that. It's not fair!" Tuff said.

"That's pretty low, even for Channel DDD!" Tiff said.

"Them three are guilty as criminals." Dedede said.

"Ok! Fire away!" Escargoon commanded the Waddle Dees. They loaded three pies into slingshots.

Splat! Splat! Boosh!

The first two pies hit Tuff and Kirby in the face. Tiff moved as the last one headed for my head. I ducked. It splattered on the ground behind me.

"Eyyuk. They got me." Tuff said, as Kirby licked the pie off his face.

"Dude, just eat it! Quick, five second rule!"

Tuff just stared at me questionably

"Okay, you guys don't have that. Nevermind..."

The policeman, the mayor, and the wine bartender stepped up and protested. Or tried to, at least. They got pied.

"You just can't treat us this way!" Tiff called.

"Yeah, um, that's what she said!" I couldn't think of anything so that is what I ended up yelling.

"Have a taste of your own pie!" Mabel the fortune-teller mushroom bottom said. She took the pie off the bartender's face and threw it. It landed with a SMACK on Dedede's face. I almost tripped, and doubled over with laughter. Escargoon snickered and everyone followed my lead.

Dedede raged, mostly at me, and Escargoon shouted, "Fire into the crowd at will!" and the Waddle Dees unleashed a load of coconut pies.

I pushed my way to the front. "EAT THIS!" I yelled, and threw a pie at Dedede. Sploosh! Dead center. "Score!" I cheered.

"I will get you for that! You ignorant girl!" he raged, and as all around me pies splattered and splooshed, Dedede picked up a pie and hurled it at me. It missed.

I thought of who'd be watching this now, and why does everyone have super bad aim. The whole thing soon turned into a pie fight.

"Ha! You missed!" I shouted. That only made him angrier.

The policeman tried to redo the protest, but four Waddle Dees ran up to him and launched. Mushroom bottom people started randomly shouting stuff and throwing pies just anywhere, while Tiff and I stood in the middle of it all, not really getting touched by the pies. The lady with the umbrella blocked all the pie shots and Kirby jumped up, swallowing whatever flew into his mouth whole.

"Wow, has everyone gone nuts or is it just me?" I asked.

Tiff shot me a dull look. I ignored her. She ran up to Dedede, shouting, "This is a big waste of food!"

Dedede was all cheering and not paying attention while Tiff ranted him out how he was wasting food.

"Fire!" Escargoon yelled at us, and since we were right in front, we would've been splattered if Kirby hadn't jumped up to eat them.

"Why you... " Dedede said, and lifted his hammer. He was about to crush us, when four mushroom bottoms hit him in the face with the pies. I burst into laughter as four more pies found their target. Escargoon called troop retreat, and as their car hurried away, I picked up a loose pie on the ground and threw it. A muffled sound told me I had hit.

The next day all of us sat waiting on a huge pile of furniture that I suggested we build as a barricade.

"Kawasaki! Everything ready?" Tiff asked. He replied yes, waiting with the huge pile of pies behind us.

"Wasn't it your idea we'll be wasting food in the first place?" I asked. "Why are we here?"

"Shh, it's Kawaskai's, so it's technically not wasted," she replied when said chef was out of earshot, "but if you didn't want to be here, why stand on top of the barricade yelling 'viva la revolution' earlier? You even made a makeshift flag." she pointed to said flag which was wrapped around my still-burnt-looking-but-not-actually-burnt right arm.

I just shrugged. "Dunno, felt like it at the time."

"Uh oh! It looks like the enemy is here!" the bartender exclaimed. Tiff and I swiveled to look.

Dedede, Escargoon, and the crew of Waddle Dees came into the town circle.

"Objection!" Escargoon shouted as he saw us.

"Hey what's da big idea you can't block of the city streets! That's a violation!" Dedede shouted.

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap, "

"Why are you so right this time," Tiff wondered about our existence, rather, my existence,

"It looks like these thugs need some pie justice." Escargoon said.

"And that's coming from the two who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." I thought.

"Hey who're you calling thugs?" Tiff shouted.

They ignored her. "Now hear this! His Highness is declaring a new law."

"From now on, anybody in this here kingdom says da word poyo is gonna be found guilty of treason."

"Isn't it pretty obvious that the only person who says that word is Kirby? You're just looking for a dumb reason to get him pied is that right?" I sighed, looking back at the others.

As if on speed dial, Kirby poyo-ed as he jumped out of the fort.

"Aaauuugh! You all heard that trash-talk traitor now let's bring him to justice!" Dedede ranted.

"No!" everyone said. not me, though. I said _is he 100% serious_

"poyo poyo poyo." Kirby said, oblivious to whatever was going on.

"Aah! There's three more poyo's! That makes four poyos! So four pies!" Dedede said.

"Whend' you learn to add?" I shook my head, and then, "Yeah, ok, p-o-y-o! Not a big deal, right guys?" I said, trying to get enthusiasm. Nobody said anything.

"...Cuntmuffins."

"You too! I heard it! You just said poyo!" Escargoon said.

"Hey, you just said it too! Anyway, not like I'm going to go down there." I said, crossing my arms.

"You better get down here this instant." Escargoon demanded. "And I make the law-"

"Doesn't make you an exception, you practice what you preach," I said haughtily.

"Yes it does because I'm the king's servant and when the king says I'm an exception I'm an exception!" he leaned over to Dedede. "I'm an exception, right?"

"What's an exception?" Dedede blinked and asked back, loudly.

Some mushroom bottoms + Tiff giggled.

Escargoon just sighed at the penguin, and then re-raised the megaphone "The king says I'm an exception so get down here or face the pies!" He launched a pie that came very close to my face. It whooshed past me and hit one of the mushroom bottom kids.

"Awww! Hey, girl, you better go down there! That was gross! And now it's your fault I'm covered in pie!"

I made a face that said _are you being serious right now_ and throwing my arms up, noted, "Fine fine. Whatever, I'll come, just to humor you." I climbed down from the shack.

"So what now? Do we get pied?" I said, hands on my sides as I reached the bottom.

"Fire!" Escargoon yelled, and they shot five pies at us. Kirby ate his four; I caught mine and threw it back. It hit Dedede square in the face.

Everyone cheered and laughed for us. Yes, even the kid who got pied. Dedede was steaming mad. You could almost see the red lines coming from his head.

"Ah well. We should've seen it coming. And the smart-mouthed Gwen too" Escargoon sighed.

"Thanks. I _do_ try my best." I said in the most annoying fashion, and bowed.

"So you haven't had your fill of pie yet, Kirby, and you aren't finished tormenting me, girl." Dedede said.

"Poyo!" from Kirby and a "Haha." from me.

"Well, I got something that will fix that up!" Dedede said, arms raised in the air.

"I'm sure its lovely." I answered, rolling my eyes.

"Wahtdya mean?" Tuff called to us from the barricade.

You could almost see the evil thoughts forming in Dedede's mind with the obnoxiously wide smirk on his face. "I got somebody ya wanna meet!" He turned around.

"Are you sure? Any friend of yours I'd turn down-" I almost finished, before he interrupted,

"Belly Buster!"

I just burst out laughing. It was the most lamest name you'd ever heard. Ppppfft- say _what?_ I thought he was going delusional or something. "Wait, is it that?" I asked, and pointed behind them. They both swiveled around. Nothing was there. "Oh, nope. I know what it is. Your stupidity."

They both got so angry, until what looked like a floating pie careened from the castle and re-drew their attention. It had five arms and frying pans, and looked like a giant vanilla oreo. Tiff threw out an expression that read _that is the stupidest thing I have ever seen_ and my face said _I didn't even... see_

"What is that thing?" Tuff asked.

"A flying pie." The police chief said.

I frowned. "And that's supposed to make me happy about it?"

It came oh-so-menacingly while we all just stood staring at it. It paused, started spinning, and Dedede grinned.

I almost bet someone would have randomly shout at that exact moment, "I LIEK PIE!", but unfortunately, nobody did.

Out of nowhere, five pies appeared on it's pans. Dedede shrieked, "Get 'em!" and the pie threw the pies from it's pie-pans... er,

I stepped sideways so the pies wouldn't hit me, because they were as big as my waist up. But Kirby just stared there and soon was covered head to toe.

"Kirby!" everyone yelled.

"Why doesn't he eat 'em?" said Tuff.

"Wait so he eats things like swords and can steal my entire dinner away from me in one go but he has trouble eating giant pie?" I asked. This place just gets weirder and weirder.

The pie thing pelted Kirby with five more. All we could do was just sit there and watch. Dedede laughed out loud and Escargoon said, "You finally managed to defeat Kirby."

"That wasn't defeat, it's just food. What kind of a defeat is shoving food into someone's face? It makes no sense." I said, trying to process

"Kirby!" Tiff called and she and the others hopped down from the barricade of furniture, a complete look of panic on her face. They approached the mound of coconut pie. It heaved, and exploded, sending pie everywhere within 5 feet of range. I myself stepped out, and while everyone got splattered, I did not.

"Jeez!" Tiff said. I giggled. She looked at me and Kirby with scorn. We gave her confused looks and shrugged, in Kirby's case, as best as he could shrug with a lack of shoulders and arms

"Heheheh. I'll teach them Cappies to laugh at me." Dedede snickered. "Go get 'em!"

Some mushroom bottoms fell by the oncoming slaughter. Of pies. "This parasol's handy!" The lady with the umbrella said.

"No fair! Wish I'd've brought one" I thought. I then had an idea. "HEY BELLY BUSTER! THROW SOME AT DEDEDE AND ESCARGOON, ER, I MEAN THESE TWO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I could see the looks of confusion on their faces when the pies dropped down. I laughed so hard for the second time that day.

"Heeeeeeey! You aren't supposed to give orders like that!" he glared at me.

"Who says I can't?" I shrugged.

"Your pie monster ain't filled with brains." Escargoon said.

I just smirked. "You aren't either, apparently."

"I'm going to get you one day. BELLY BUSTER, GIMME SOME PIES TO THROW AT THIS GIRL HERE!" Dedede shouted. In lieu of this moment, I hopped, skipped and jumped away to hide behind the barricade until the pies were no longer directed at me. Pulling a table from the middle and snapping its legs off, I implanted it into the ground as a temporary shield. When that broke, well, I made my way over to Tiff.

Even the Waddle Dees got pied. Kirby dodged one, then dodged another. But the last one hit Tiff. I looked at her with almost amusement.

"Uuuh. WHY DON'T YOU SUCK THEM UP?" Tiff screamed at Kirby.

"Someone's just lost their guardian star warrior." I sang.

She tasted the pie, wondering why Kirby wouldn't eat them, I suppose.

"EEEEEEUUUUUUKKKKK!" she screamed.

"This tasted disqusting." Tuff and a few others complained. The pie was up to our ankles, like an ocean of custard.

Confused, I tasted it and couldn't keep from looking sick.

"Tiff, look." a familiar voice said.

Metaknight stood on top of the barricade, next to Tiff covered in pie and...me.

"Look who just showed up. Oh, and how long have you been standing there?!" I exclaimed.

"Huh?" Tiff said while I ranted. We all looked up anyways. The pie thing was dripping pink and actually steaming.

"Is the air hot out here or is it just me?" I wondered out loud, pretending to test the wind by holding out a finger.

I got a group glare and a "Gwen, shut up."

"What's it doing now?" Tuff crawled over to us.

"You have insulted its pies. Now the monster is angry." Metaknight said.

"English please. It's out to get us and gets mad because of us? I'm surprised it can even think." I said. He twitched.

"No way! Just because the thing can't cook its goin ballistic?" Tuff asked.

"Monsters must get testy about their recipes." Tiff said.

"What? It's a monster, for crying out loud!" I facepalmed.

The pie thing started spinning faster and throwing pies like a machine gun throws bullets. It flattened all the mushroom bottom people, buried Dedede and Escargoon, killed the Waddle Dees, and shot several at me. I spun around, dodging them, and Metaknight jumped out of the way too. He landed on top of the barricade and yelled, "Kirby! Where are you!?"

"Poyo..." we heard. Kirby was hiding underneath the barricade, and Tiff and I walked/crawled over.

"Kirby! SUCK IT UP!" Tiff screamed at him.

"POYO! POYO! POYO!" Kirby started shaking and holding his mouth.

"Well, he doesn't want to eat it. You said it yourself, these are disgusting." I lifted my foot. Pie dripped down to the ground.

"Uh! You won't eat it?" Tiff said, just as Metaknight jumped down.

"Not even Kirby can eat something that bad." Tuff commented.

"Bingo." I pointed to Tuff.

"Somebody cooks worse than me!" Kawasaki laughed.

"No shit Sherlock. If you haven't forgotten, I still exist..." I mumbled

The pie thing started spinning like a fast-forwarded top.

"Oh no..." Tiff said. "It's like it's the end of the world." She answered.

"Are all 99 of your problems coming to you now?" I asked. She shot me a look.

"Why wouldn't they be? You're standing right there."

"...You've got a point."

"This is not good. It is taking everything you say as an insult." Metaknight said.

"So that's what happens when you go ballistic." I shrugged, and then realized what I did, "Oh, whoops, my bad. Maybe it'll explode and cook itself! What an idea!"

"It's gonna attack! Thanks a lot, Gwen! What do we do now?" Tiff asked.

"Easy, don't screw up."

"That's amazing advice, A plus-"

"Here it comes." Metaknight said. "Split up!" We jumped to the left and Tiff and Kirby jumped to the right.

The pies spiraled, like they were magnets, headed straight for us. The best part was that I couldn't even follow my own advice properly. One of the pies exploded in front of my eyes when I ducked, causing me to jump up and get struck by the other one flying over my head, ironically.

"Augh!" I screamed, and then fell down into the glop. I stood up, highly disappointed. "You've gotta be kidding me..." Then I heard someone mutter, "I feel... dirty..."

"You think?!" I raised my arm, without looking as to who said it. A flow of coconut - I wasn't even sure it was coconut anymore - dripped down. I laughed out loud when I turned and saw Metaknight. He saw me and started laughing as well, trying to restrain it though.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't just see that." I said.

I looked over at Tiff. The girl had the best 'LMFAO' face, and she smiled at me. "Fail."

I gave her The Look. "No one asked for your life story, girl."

"I wasn't talking about mine, I was describing yours"

"Shots fired, oh man, good one"

"It it your hobby to turn _everything_ into a joke?"

"...Maybe"

Then the pie thing started launching stuff at Kirby, and he fled.

"Dedede's finally found a way to stop Kirby. Now the king can chase Kirby out of Dreamland for good." Tiff said, sadness in her tone.

"Yeah sure, as if. Kirby always wins. Do the villains never learn?" I appeared next to her, with Metaknight.

Dedede and Escargoon tried to get away by car, but they couldn't. "Why are we getting noplace?" Dedede asked. I laughed when I saw this. Kirby ran up and landed in his car. They screamed. And the pie thing did a belly flop on their car. A tsunami of pie filling exploded out of the impact. Tiff screamed, "Oh my god the end of the world." I yelled, "I can see it's coming for our faceS-!" Metaknight followed up with the "Here comes the custard!" anyways and we went, "Aah!" as the pie rained down on us in buckets.

We were covered within seconds. "This is going to take forever to clean up..." I said as I found my way out. It covered the town square and went up to my waist. Metaknight and Tiff popped up beside me.

"Where's the monster? Where did it go?" Tiff asked.

"There don't you have eyes", I pointed, and then looked at myself. "Frick guys I'm covered in stuff how are you not bothered by this..."

"Look!" Metaknight said as the rumbling drowned his shout out. A big pie blob came out of the floor, and it cleared and it turned into something that looks like one of your internal organs and Tiff asked, "What IS that?" While Dedede, Escargoon, their car, and Kirby were sucked in through the top.

I stared at it with pure horror. "That has GOT to be the MOST EVER LOVING DISGUSTING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE."

"The monster was in disguise this is its true form." Metaknight informed us.

"That's very usual, coming from you." I said.

"A stomach. Look there!" Tiff said.

My face turned sour,

"What is it doing?" Tiff screamed. "NOOOO!" We could only watch, but in a matter of minutes, we saw it inflate up like a balloon.

It asploded and faded into dust that rained down on us. I think I was the only one who actually cared about what was going on. Everyone else was cheering.

"Eeeeeewwww! This is WORSE!" I shouted. "Gross, I'm now covered in monster guts! Who wants to bet the pies weren't actually pies!?"

Metaknight looked at me. So did Tiff. They both looked at me, then the pie that we were all covered in, and then slowly turned away. I went back to furiously trying to scrape it all off my arms in horrifying silence.

Tuff (who had been out of earshot when I said as such) then pointed, "There they are!" converting our attention back to the sky.

Kirby fell from the sky.

Dedede and Escargoon fell into the pie.

Metaknight threw the old lady's umbrella to Kirby, who caught it and floated down on it.

"Poyo!" he yelled as we ran to catch him.

 **One of my better ones tbia honest, but if not funny enough yet, let's skIP-**


	4. The NotReally Wandering Dedede Ancestors

4\. The (Actually Not Wandering, Never Wandering) Wandering Ancestors of Dedede

I slowly snuck up behind the nearest beach chair that was sitting in the middle of the sand with a bucket of water in hand. Luckily, the target was resting soundly and did not notice a thing-yet. I peeked over the top of the chair, and without warning, dumped the bucket of water all over it, drenching the girl who happened to be sitting on this particular chair.

"AAAHHH! GWEN! WHAT THE HELL!" Tiff screamed as she was drenched head to toe.

"Hah hah. Come on Tiff, you're so lazy! Come out and learn to swim for once!" I called, running out into the water.

"Wow, thanks. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce." Tiff huffed, trying to recover.

"Well, suit yourself. You're going to miss all the fun. Although, you aren't the spitting image of it, so that's up to you." I shrugged and continued splashing around in the water with everyone else.

All of a sudden, clouds fogged up the sky.

"I've been here for a good five minutes and this is my reward?" I frowned, looking up and crawling out onto the sand.

Later, Tiff, Tuff, Kirby and I cornered Dedede in a random hallway of the castle.

"What? This cold weather is my fault?" he asked, looking at us with scorn.

"That's a false accusation!" Escargoon pointed at me.

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong..." I glared at them, arms crossed in my standard interrogation stance. As standard as a pose I could get it to be, at least.

"Then why did it get all cold all of a sudden?" Tuff argued, suddenly butting into one of the fights I usually start.

"Didn't you buy some suspicious demon beast?" Tiff followed.

"Here, take a look at this!" Escargoon said, and took out a receipt. I snatched it from his hand and started to skim. As Escargoon tried to protest, Tiff and Tuff blocked him off, reading with me.

"Due to your unpaid balances, all demon beast deliveries are being withheld?" Tiff read out loud.

"Hmm...you guys sound reasonable. Time to up my medication." I shrugged, tossing the receipt behind my back. I heard Escargoon scramble to catch it and glare at me when he did.

"Hah hah. You haven't paid them?" Tuff laughed.

"Poyo!" Kirby subtly mentioned

"This is evidence that we haven't bought any demon beasts!" Escargoon said, rather gleefully, I suppose. As gleefully as someone could sound in debt. At least I'll know what my future college problems would look like.

"I could pay if I wanted to - but I don't want to! Get it?" Dedede shouted, clearly annoyed by now.

"On the contrary, I'm actually patient with stupidity but just...not with those who are proud of it."

Dedede stared at me with a look of utmost hate, while Escargoon said, "You better rewind that attitude of yours or I'll fast-forward your butt-kicking!"

"Ooh, someone's catching on fast." I said, appearing to flinch. "Let's just be honest here...ugly starts with U and awesome ends with ME."

This ended with Escargoon dragging Dedede away after he gave out a very big sneeze. In my face. They would.

"If it's not Dedede's fault, then... Why is it cold all of a sudden...?" Tiff mused.

"Because it's not warm." I deadpanned, trying my best to ignore the possibility of penguin sniffle all over my shirt.

"No, Gwen, that's not what I'm - Woah!"

We looked out the castle balcony - and no, I'm not kidding, it was _snowing_.

"Wait, when how-? It was sunny and all of a sudden, snow!?" I stepped back in shock.

"It's snowing!" Tuff said.

"Snowing!" Kirby parroted.

It's snowing even if there is no demon beast." Tiff said.

"Well, demon beast or not, I'm going to go and have my fun. Catch you guys later!" I took a loose board randomly laying against the wall and jumped out the window. "YAHOO! ...WAIT THIS WAS A BAD IDEA AAAAA-" ( _splat_ ).

That night, it was as cold as ever. It must have been 50 degrees below zero or something. I was surprised I didn't freeze to death. I happened to score a room in the castle (as big as it was, I still needed Tiff's assistance). Luckily for me, I wasn't going to sleep in a tree tonight.

"I can't even sleep..." I thought to myself, underneath like about 10 blankets. I looked out of the room's window that gave me a clear view of the town. It was also the room across from the knights', (all the way on the other side of the castle, but whatever) and I so happened to see them standing out on the balcony, keeping watch or something like that.

"...Okay, now seriously what the heck. HOW can they stand there while it's like 50 degrees below freezing?!" I wondered. Well, never question it. Never question anything in this town. Minds will explode upon attempt.

The next morning, I was watching the other kids and Tuff snowboard while I tried to make my own out of loose parts I'd found in the castle basement earlier this morning. I felt like I was getting there, but the ropes wouldn't listen to me. They barely even moved! So I eventually resorted to using it as a sled.

"Heh heh. Tiff, you still wondering about the weather?" Tuff asked her.

"Nice weather we're having, right Tiff?" I scooted up to them, and stopped. "Oh yeah, forgot, I didn't think you'd know."

"Nice try, Gwen. Don't you think this is strange?" Tiff asked.

"Oh, stop being a worrywart sis." Tuff put his hands behind his head just as Kirby stopped over.

"What's strange? Your face?" I asked, seemingly getting used to, no, bored of, her ideas.

"There has to be a reason." she said, thinking, ignoring me and seemingly getting used to my level of sarcasm.

"Maybe...it's a trap!" I emphasized the word 'trap', as dramatically as I could

"Stop it, Gwen. We already know it isn't Dedede." she was still busy in thought.

But before she could say any more, Dedede and Escargoon came sledding down the hill with an electric sled, heading straight for us.

"AAH!" we screamed, and I shoved a pile of snow into their way before they could crash into Kirby, but they plowed through it and got through anyways, but not without getting drenched first.

"GWEN!" Escargoon waved a fist at me, and almost fell off the sled.

"Haha." Tuff and I laughed, while Tiff's mind was elsewhere, "Kirby! Kirby!"

And then all of a sudden, these random penguin guys show up and walk around.

"Woah! Look at them. Dedede's ancestors!" I smirked.

"Sis, what are these guys?" Tuff asked.

"They're penguins, what you think?" I said, imitating Dedede's accent.

"Those birds that live where it's cold?"

"Yeah." Tiff nodded. "This is the first time I've seen them!" Tiff shouted.

"What? Really? Either you've been so ignorant over the years or you are completely blind..." I said as I followed the kids down the hill.

"Woah." we were staring at a big iceberg that had formed during the snowstorm.

"Gee, I wonder if it's a space alien?" I joked. It was pretty obvious that this was the penguins' home.

"This is amazing." Chief Bookem said.

"What is that, sis?" Tuff asked Tiff.

"An iceberg." she answered.

"An iceberg?"

"A block of ice. it drifted here from a colder region." she said.

"Poyo!" Kirby said, interrupting the sentence willing to form on the tip of my obnoxious mouth.

Then all these penguins show up on top of the iceberg and look down at us like we are shrimps.

"Pleased to meet you all!" the penguin said.

"It talks!?" I said, taken aback.

"Hello!" Tiff said blankly, staring

"I am Pengi, the leader of the wandering Pengi clan." The odd penguin out said.

"Wait. Stand back. I'm going to try and communicate with it." I said, stepping up, to which everyone, especially Tiff, rolled their eyes at me.

"Wandering Pengi?" Cheif Bookem stroked his mustache.

"I've heard about a group of penguins that travels the world on an iceberg." Curio mused.

"Well I'VE heard of one penguin that can't travel a mile on his own two feet!" I said, squinting up to the top.

"But, why would you do that?" Tuff said.

"It is the fate of the Pengi clan to wander." the leader said.

"That's pretty cool. Have you guys been to Timbuktu?"

"...It is a pleasure to joyride to all these different places." he said. "Anyway, I'm glad we found a village with snow and ice like this."

"Is it just me, or is this coincidence fishy as heck?" I whispered to Tiff.

"I think so too, but it's best we stay quiet for now." she answered me with an actually sane response

"Would it be ok for us to stay here a while?" The penguin asked.

"Hey, wait a second -!" I started.

"I don't mind." the mayor beat me to the punch.

"WHAT!?" No, I was not happy to have penguins over as guests, thanks for asking.

"I guess it's ok." Chief Bookem shrugged.

"Much appreciated!" Pengi flapped his bird wings.

I just stared. "Are these people serious isn't there a whole army of birds inside there...?" shot through my mind, and before long everyone had headed back and I was left with the last pengi to leave. It stared at me. I stared back.

"Can you talk too or is that just your old fart?"

The pengi just squawked, and ran around my legs. Mentally kicking myself for attempting to talk to a bird, I followed it back to town.

"Everyone, Cappy Town is holding a snow festival to welcome the wandering Pengi clan!" the mayor announced.

We were near Kirby's house, watching the kids and some of the Pengi playing slide while Tiff, Tokkori and I watched them. After all this time I was still trying to fix up my sled.

"What are these guys up to?" Tokkori asked.

"Yeah, they've practically taken over the whole village." I muttered.

"If I knew that, it wouldn't be a problem." Tiff said, then walked up to Pengi. "Don't you think it's getting even colder?" I followed her.

"Has it now?" Pengi said. "And what's with this girl, making random comments after everyone says something?" he pointed to me.

"Well, Gwen's really sarcastic, and she's annoying. You'll get used to it." Tiff smiled.

"Why thank you very...much."

"Anyways, it's normally very warm in this villiage." Tiff said. "Then it suddenly grew cold, and your iceberg showes up. I wonder if there's a connection."

"...Probably a coincidence." he shrugged simply.

"You WOULD know." I muttered.

About an hour later, Tiff, Tuff, Kirby and I were stalking the iceberg.

"There must be a secret inside this iceberg." Tiff muttered.

"I didn't know that!" I sighed, exasperated."You make me look like Einstein!"

We crept slowly into a side entrance that wasn't watched too closely.

"Huh? It's a dead end." Tiff said, as we emerged into a completely-empty room.

"No way! There's gotta be a secret passageway here somewhere! That's what happens in movies!" I said, checking the corners.

All of a sudden, Kirby tripped, and pushed me into a wall.

"AAH! Kirby! What-AAH!" We both fell through the-um, wall.

I heard Tiff and Tuff rush after us just as the trapdoor closed, and we slid on our stomachs through a very slippery slide.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" We screamed as we fell down the slide, me holding onto Kirby for dear life.

We finally stopped in a room with another staircase.

"Thanks, Kirby, we got to sneak in because of you!" Tiff said.

"Good job!" Tuff said.

"Wait. I don't get credit for this? He pushed me into a wall." I said, standing up.

"Ok, ok, fine. Thank you Gwen. Happy?" Tiff smirked at me.

"I don't know what makes you so naive, but it works!" I said, being the first to walk up the nearest staircase, laughing while Tiff chased after me.

"This is-" Tuff started.

"I'm not sure either." Tiff said.

"Poyo?" Kirby asked.

"Isn't this an air conditioner?" Tuff asked.

"Wow! Penguins more technology advanced than you guys?!" I stomped my foot down. Ice formed around it.

"This is what's causing it." Tiff gaped, and concluded. "This cold keeps the iceberg from melting, and to make matters worse, it froze our village too!"

"As long as this is here, spring will never come!" a random voice said. "I'm afraid to say this, but, we are now in charge."

"AAH! It's them! Run!" I said, dashing for the exit. But penguins with spears cornered me.

"I'm afraid to ask if those are real..?" I said, pointing at the sharp-tipped spears.

SHINK! one of them thrust their spear down into the ice. It cracked.

I looked over at Tiff, Tuff and Kirby. They were surrounded as well.

"Pengi!" Tiff cried.

"Hey wait, unhand me now, you fiends!" I shrieked, as they placed my lower half into an ice cube.

"Stop!" Tiff cried, but we were frozen halfway and dragged to the town in a rope. The ride there wasn't exactly smooth going either. Not counting the fact that I felt my arms going blue from the ice cube.

"Looking for these?" Pengi cried to the town, pulling us into view.

"You smartass penguins! Somebody stop them they're freezing the town! I mean I guess Dedede's ancestors are way smarter than he is but it doesn't mean we can't attack their idiot side - " I yelled, before Pengi took a spear and pointed it at me and said, "Shut up."

I glared at him. "Do you annoy people as a hobby, or is that just your personality?"

"These guys were trespassing in our iceberg, so we arrested them." the leader of their clan continued.

"These pengi are the ones causing all the cold!" Tiff took this opportunity to shout.

"They used an air conditioner to freeze the town!" Tuff copied his sister.

"If that's true then, I'll have to arrest them!" Cheif Bookem said.

"Silence! you're the reason why we became wandering pengi!" Pengi yelled.

"Isn't wandering your hobby?" Tuff and I asked.

"Fool! You are the ones to blame!" he whacked us upside the head.

"OW!"

"Could you please explain?" Sir Ebrum asked tentatively.

"I guess I'll tell you then." Pengi said, and started this oh-so woeful story about how they used to live on Antarctica or something and a part of the iceberg broke off and they were forced to wander.

I was like, "Wait, then how are WE involved with this? For all you know it was you guys were so fat the ice cracked!"

"It's your fault! You use too much energy, and so the world has become warmer. It's global warming!" he finished.

"But..." Tiff said.

"No, not really. Global warming comes from the sun's energy, because the ozone layer of the atmosphere is being penetrated by the sun. It's not our doing, (this town has the crappiest technology ever anyway). It has to be the sun, and the sun's natural. Nothing you can do about that." I said. (I know, before you all go and tell me this is a lie, think about it. When dealing with morons, you pretty much have to lower your level,)

"I don't care whether it's the sun or not. But the fact that you use energy to live in luxury is true, and you can't blame the sun, as you said. So I blame you, because you're the only ones that CAN be blamed!" he said.

"No fair!" Tiff cried.

"But now we no longer have to wander! We'll live here!" he said.

"You can't! That's trespassing!" Tuff cried.

"Poyo!" Kirby said.

"I knew it!" I would point if I could.

"You really are so disobedient. Why not we take over and become the new rulers here?" he laughed.

"You mean the village will remain frozen?" Curio asked.

"I hate the warm! It's no good unless everything is frozen!" he shouted.

I would have started singing a particular song here, but that would make me seem more like an idiot, so I didn't

"We don't like the cold!" Tuff said.

"Well then now it's your turn to have a climate change!" he said.

"Um... Could you perhaps rethink this?" Ebrom asked timidly.

"NO!" he said.

"Change your mind! I'd think the new one would work much better." I muttered.

"You can't settle down wherever you want." the mayor said.

"It's trespassing!" Cheif Bookem said.

"In fact, this is an invasion!" Mabel yelled.

"Say what you like! Anyone who resists will be met like this!" Pengi said, then aimed an ice beam at some of the Cappys, who got frozen.

"OH CUNTMUFFINS. THIS SHIT JUST GOT SERIOUS." I stared at the ice sculptures.

"AAH!" Tuff yelled.

"Poyo!" Kirby said.

"They're flash-frozen so they're not dead." he laughed. "Now this is a real snow festival. Lock them up!"

And so as luck would have it, we were freed from our ice prisons, finally, but were stashed into a jail cell while the penguins took over the town.

"Rrrgh. Those rotten penguins. They might be smarter than Dedede, but sadly they don't reach his level of numbskull." I said, fists clenched.

"Sis, are they ready?" Tuff asked, going to the back of the cell where Tiff, Kirby and I were waiting.

"There. They're ready." Mabel said. She had made four pengi costumes for Tiff, Tuff, Kirby and I to run around in.

"Whew. Finally." I said, and joined Tuff and Kirby near the front for our plan.

"The children need to use the restroom!" the mayor cried.

"I gotta go! I gotta go!" Tuff, Kirby and I jumped around. We looked like morons.

The four of us headed into the bathroom, where we changed into our pengi costumes. And then we got the heck out of there.

We headed towards the castle. "Don't have your cover blown." Tiff said.

"Poyo!"

"That already is going to have our cover blown. You heard her."

"Gwen, for the umpteenth time, shut up or _you'll_ be the one to have our cover blown)."

"Alright alright."

A lone penguin outside the castle gates stopped us and stared into our souls. We all instantaneously froze and waited for the worst. Two minutes into this escape plan and we had already failed. Twice.

It was about 10 seconds before it said, "We had the same idea."

"Huh?" Tiff wondered.

"What the..." I murmured.

And then the 'penguin' revealed that it was actually Metaknight in a penguin costume.

"Metaknight?" Tiff asked.

"LMFAO. LMAFO. Hilarity at its finest," I snickered.

We came across Dedede and Escaargoon in the hall, being worked like slaves. They were missing that Kirby was always there to save them and even said they didn't mind if Gwen (moi) came around, so the four of us walked up to them, and they grew scared and pretended they were mopping the floor, until Kirby gave a "Poyo" and I snickered loudly.

"Poyo poyo!" Kirby said, as we all took our costumes off.

Dedede and Escargoon had faces like they just went through a car wash. I laughed and threw the costume aside.

"This is so going into my blackmail collection" I said, but they practically jumped for joy despite the fact.

"You're being dethroned!" Dedede said as we cornered Pengi in the throne room.

He held a mop in his hands as a weapon, Escargoon was standing with his arms up, Tuff had his fists clenched, Kirby was staring, Metaknight was still in his pengi costume, Tiff had her arms crossed, and I pulled out my boomerang as a puddle of ice surrounded me.

"What was that?" Pengi asked, turning around.

"Get out of here peacefully!" Tiff yelled.

"Otherwise we'll have Kirby punish you!" Tuff guestured to Kirby.

We all nodded our heads at the same time, which I thought was super funky

"How amusing. How about whoever loses must leave this village?" he said.

"HEY! I'll challenge YOU to a battle of wits. Oh, wait. SORRY, looks like you're unarmed!" I yelled,

"Hey, you're not scared? Well then you should be. You are being challenged by a Star Warrior who always wins his battles, a king with a hammer - er - mop and his servant, a boy who has determination, a girl that pulls plans and can call a warpstar, a master swordsman, and - *she looked at me* a 15 year old...uh. That help?" Tiff said, smirking.

"Tiff..." I sighed. "Remind me to give you a list of my redeeming qualities...-"

"Well maybe I didn't remember them because you don't have any-"

I stared at her wondrously and pretended to be offended

"I don't care!" Pengi suddenly interrupted, as he literally jumped 10 feet into the air and aimed an ice beam straight for our heads. We dodged it.

"Get back here!" he said, and landed and threw another ice beam at out heads. And then Kirby ate it.

And turned into Ice Kirby.

"Yeah! it's been a while, Ice Kirby!" Tuff yelled.

And then both of them threw an ice beam at each other and they met and formed an iceberg right in the middle of the throne room.

"Hah hah hah hah. Freezing's no use against me!" Pengi said.

"Well then I'll be. Kirby suck this up." I held out my lighter to Kirby, and turned it on. (Long story short, another gizmo I found in the castle)

"NO you don't!" Pengi shouted, and exploded the lighter out of my hands, and it broke.

"MY LIGHTER! KIRBY, I CHOOSE YOU!" I shouted.

"Let's leave this to Kirby." Metaknight pushed Tiff, Tuff and I out of the way.

"I'm going, wait!" Dedede and Escargoon were right behind us.

"Awww, I don't get to see?" I moaned.

And then a cold battle ensued. I'll make this nice and short, we waited behind the iceberg.

"The cold is only benefiting his enemy." Metaknight said.

"My LIGHTER..." I groaned.

"You mean...?" Tuff started.

"Your majesty, order a fire demon beast!" Escargoon shouted.

"Surprisingly, that actually sounds like a brilliant plan,"

"But then I'll have to pay." he groaned.

"So having the castle taken over is ok with you!?" Escargoon shouted.

"...I would call you a retard but that would be insulting to retards." I sighed..

The two fighters ran out of the room and through the hallways.

Meanwhile, Dedede and Escargoon bought something (FINALLY), some kind of something in a bottle called 'Volcanon'. I thought it would be useful. About time too.

"Come, Warp Star!" Tiff called.

Just then, Pengi and Kirby burst into the throne room again.

"You can't get away!" he cried, still shooting ice beams.

"OH YES WE CAN!" I yelled, taking out some oil and a match (courtesy of Metaknight... somehow),

It exploded, not lighting the castle on fire but surprising Pengi.

"Damnit!" he yelled.

"Kirby! Take this to Gilawea Volcano!" Tiff cried, and threw the bottle to Kirby, who took it all the way to the volcano and poured it in, and it erupted and melted all the ice but the lava didn't kill anyone. (Surprise, surprise)

"Kirby!" Tiff said.

"He did it!" Tuff said.

"This cold will come to an end now." Dedede said.

"Dang it!" Pengi cried. "Sigh. I thought we'd finally found a place where we could live in peace..."

"Well, too bad. Check the store thataway and see if they have a life for sale."

"Do you want me to flash freeze you, girl?"

I threw my hands up. "I'm good! I'm good!"

"If you understand, then hurry up and go already." Tiff interrupted before I could become a living sculpture

"You'd better go if you don't want sunstroke." Tuff joked.

"Guess so. Let's go everyone!"

So after saying goodbye, (thankfully), we all went back to our normal life. All except for me, who still attempted to pull off creating a sled out of the castle's wooden walls. And I'll always remember the last day where it snowed in this hell of a town.

The next day, Tiff, Tuff, Kirby and I snuck up behind Dedede and Escargoon, relaxing on the balcony with electric fans around them.

"Now that the penguins' iceberg is gone, the warm weather has finally returned." Escargoon grinned, adjusting his ridiculous sunglasses.

"Hah hah. Money and technology solve everything." Dedede laughed ironically, but not after we dumped a huge bucket of water on them and their fans.

"WHAT DO YO THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Dedede yelled at us.

"Oh you know... hunting elephants." I laughed out loud.

"Don't you know this is treason?" Escargoon shouted.

"It's called finding a loophole, which was easy enough considering your brains are FULL of 'em." I smirked, continuing to dish out commentary

"Let's think of the Pengi and try to save energy as best as we can." Tiff interrupted, positively speaking.

"Poyo!" Kirby said as he placed a tub full of water in front of him and hopped into it, splashing us.

"Good luck with that, then." I shrugged.

 **Skip if not funny..yet. I'm getting there. Swear.**


End file.
